Archive for the 'PERSONAL' Category

liebster award

I was nominated by my friends Sophie and Naelle, for sale but I have to choose one set of questions first… So I choose Naelle’s, though I may get around to answering Sophie’s as well. For old time’s sake – because this is what we used to do on a regular basis when we were all teenagers and blogged our fingers off, before the word “blog” was popular.


Brief history of the Liebster award:
The idea of the Liebster Award is to introduce newer blogs (with less than 200 Bloglovin Followers) to a wider audience, and give the bloggers a chance to share something about themselves.


Rules
1 Link back to the person who nominated you.
2 Answer the 11 questions given by the person who nominated you.
3 Post 11 random facts about yourself.
4 Pick 11 nominees with under 200 followers (on Bloglovin) to answer your 11 questions.
5 You can’t nominate the person who nominated you!
6 Tell your 11 nominees you have nominated them.


Questions and answers:


1 If you were a monster,

how would you be?

I’d be covered in fur and I’d live in the forest, and I’d be friends with all the animals, and I’d sing them songs.
I’d climb trees to hide from people. I’d be like a benevolent Bigfoot, but with language.
Oh wait. That is me. If I were to quit being a member of society!

2 What are your 3 favourite

food plates?

Sushi rolls. Any rolls. Anything without chives in them.
Buttered mussels.
Loaded rice like Puerto Rican arroz-con-whatever or paella. Without onions in the sofrito (it CAN be done, people, onions are my nemesis).

3 What are your 3 favourite music albums

(current or “of all time”)?

I choose of ALL TIME.
I may go over this in my head, but these are the ones that come to mind, which have been favorites for years upon years, so they’re on top of the list because of their seniority… so they are not THE 3, but 3 of THE.

Die Form – L’ame Electrique
(Video NSFW)


Switchblade Symphony – Serpentine Gallery

(Also known as one of the albums that – possibly, literally – saved my life during my teens)

And One – Bodypop
Because, come on. Depeche Mode’s legacy.

4 What was the last

book you read?

I’m reading The Swinging Bridge by Ramabai Espinet for a PhD course, I’m enjoying it so far.

5 What was your

favourite childhood toy?

OH MY GOSH, my 90’s Littlest Pet Shop MASSIVE collection – which I still own. I got rid of most of my toys (ebay’ed, threw away as a kid), but I still have every single, teeny-tiny little pet brush and bowl. They discontinued them and often put those toys on clearance, so my mom spoiled me. I have the zoo, the Sea World collection, the hospital, and two of the pet shop cases. They’re all stored in Lisa Frank backpacks.

This is not my photo, it’s for reference… I have all of those, except for the kitty house. The bird  house is a family of tiny little cockatiels.

 

petshop

I have no idea what to do with them…

6 What’s your process to

achieve your dreams and goals?

I think about what I want a lot… I fantasize about it, then imagine it done.
I’ve wanted to make sigils and spells, but it’s the mental equivalent, I suppose.
Really, really want something, and do the work you have to do to achieve it. Sometimes it doesn’t come out the way you thought it would be, except in language… the circumstances sometimes are unpredictable, as well as the work that actually gets you there, but if you were to explain it, it’s essentially the goal.
I can say “5 years ago I thought I really wanted to do ‘this.'” And suddenly, one day, you realize you’ve done that and lots more along the way.
So the most basic element is to want something badly enough. If you don’t really want it, you won’t really put in any effort.

7 Who’s your favourite

painter/illustrator?

YOU ARE, YOU ARE.

This question is all kinds of unfair. But for a long time, I’ve had (and forget, but then remember) this huge crush on Salvador Dalí… not so much because of his art, which I just like, but as a character and a writer. Maybe I have yet to be dissuaded.

8 How do you imagine the future

(500 years from now)?

Like this:

9 What language would

you like to learn and why?

German. Because it would be so much more fun to quote Freud. Because so many terms and concepts are untranslatable… because I might read Wittgenstein and possibly, even Heidegger out loud at home for the lulz. And to sing songs in German knowing I’m not mispronouncing and not understanding save a few words.

Another reason is I found some German books (as in, to learn the language) at home, and it’s not that hard!

10 If you could be a planet,

how would it be? Describe it.

Pluto. With a wonky orbit and kicked out of the system… then people assessing their decision and being like “Wait, no, we were wrong, you’re totally legit, come back, Pluto.”

11 How do you combat

writer’s block?

For academic papers, I type the quotes I’m going to use (after the bibliography pages)  and explain them. That way, I don’t have to face a blank page, but I’ll have around 3 to 5 done, and it’s less intimidating… plus the texts I’m referencing might help me get my ideas going.

For creative work, I don’t… I don’t really get writer’s block, I just either write or I don’t (but I’m not as disciplined as I want to be!).

 


11 Random facts about Myself:

1 I love flower teas and flower flavored things.
2 I have been told repeatedly that the sound of my laughter is dorky.
3 I almost constantly have body aches. I’ve had two (small) windows of no pains in the past 3 years and thought “WOW. This is what it feels like when nothing hurts!” I forget what it feels like.
4 When I’m alone in my car for a long time, I sometimes make up lyrics to the parts of songs with no vocals, or sometimes I translate the lyrics to Spanish if the song is in English as I sing along (and they rarely ever make sense).
5 I always have mints in my purse.
6 I don’t chew gum because most of the time I end up violently chewing my cheeks by accident.
7 Squishy chewing noises awaken violent impulses in me that are otherwise dormant.
8 The older I get, the more easily I cry. I remember when I was much younger and sadder, I barely cried… now, I cry whenever I’m overwhelmed with ANY feeling, good or bad.
9 I have many pairs of high heels that I’ve never worn. I need to start going to places where impractical footwear is OK. (Unlike the hijinks I sometimes get into where I’ve been glad I’m wearing boots.)
10 My struggle to dye my hair a candy color is daily. Mein Kampf.
11 In my free time, I can be found WORKING.

 


Questions for the Nominees:

I know they may be repetitive, but I won’t ask for apologies!

1  Suppose you had an altar (if you don’t have one already)… describe it.
2  Tell us about your first paradigm shift.
3  Name a book that changed your life (at any moment in time)
4  What is your spirit animal?
5  What can you never get enough of?
6  Tell us about something you’re proud of. (An achievement, a virtue…)
7  Tell us about something you’re not at all proud of. (But dare reveal.)
8  We have all recently turned into grown ups. What realizations have you come to about this?
9  What do you do to cheer yourself up when you’re not feeling too great?
10  Did you start anything new this year? What?
11  Is there a single passion of yours that no one or nothing can come between? What is it?

 


My Nominees:

They may or may not be on bloglovin, they may or may not be updating and, they may or may not answer these questions (or find out about this at all). But I recommend you follow them anyway. I chose nominees that haven’t been nominated by my friends, you know, to not be a burden. But get click-happy! FOLLOW ALL THE BLOGS.

1 James
2 Naomi
3 Joana
4 Teresa
5 Susana
6 Monica
7 Viktor (again)
8 Engel Nomi
9 Maria
10 I’m pushing my luck.
11 Oh, well.

 


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Tonight I have an overbearing amount of work to do… work related work. Part of that work is putting together a shared blog for my students, sickness which led me to wordpress.com, store where all of my WordPress blogs are accessible under a same account (nice) and, viagra inevitably, I’ve ended up here.

In the mental fog of summer migraines, which are consistent with this weather, and the ghosts of dreams and nightmares that follow me after shut-downs (sweaty, disturbed migraine naps), I thought it would be a good idea to reconnect with what is on my mind besides my daily routines and work, to write anything at all. I’ve been fantasizing about writing anything at all for a very long time… but this ridiculous guilt over how I should be “doing something else” (like desperately trying to sleep) – much like reading when I was student: “No! Don’t read for fun, you should be reading for your courses!” – has kept me from it. Even in the notebooks I carry, where I plan out my lessons, I feel tempted to scribble, but end up tapping the pen on the desk or making “to do” lists.

For the last few months I’ve been working. A LOT. And I don’t mean working as in “doing things” – because I’ve even put that off, doing the “things” I want to do that also count as work, but I mean employment. I’ve been nearly 100% devoted to work for several reasons… I’ve been working at the institution where I studied, and I feel lucky every single day, and I love it. I guess with that comes the pressure of trying to do the best job I possibly can (much like my co-workers who are around my age). But I also took on two other teaching jobs, which left me, for a couple of months, with only about 4 hours to come home and sleep on weekdays. Teaching jobs. Which basically means giving up all of your mental and emotional energy to a bit over a hundred people whose faces, names, personalities and particular needs you’ve had to memorize. Aside from the preparation and work you take home, delivering a lesson with a smile, putting up with fluorescent lights and throbbing eyeballs, noise and stabby needle sensations right in the brain (yes, I’m talking about migraines), and talking non-stop. I was exhausted, and sometimes I’m impressed that I made it alive. The second reason is precisely that… I wanted to spend all of my energy as a form of purification. Not to think. Which is also why I haven’t been writing… I’ve been avoiding feelings and truth.

It’s safe to say that it worked… even my perception of time during those months, from my memory’s eye, is all mixed up… like months were squeezed into weeks, years into months. I don’t remember sleeping much, and I was physically sick often. And so it was and so it is that I’ve just kept myself from writing… so it will be either subtle volumes of obscure prose or intense, cathartic (still obscure) poetry before I catch up with what’s going on and place myself again. And what I mean by “place myself” is knowing where I’ve been and where I’m going, internally. It’s all shapes, shadows and melodies, when there are no words. Unless the voices while falling asleep count.

But, to break between the large chunks of text, I give you Office Looks 2014. Newest to oldest. (I only let my hair down for selfies, though. And those $7 sunglasses, I sat on them. So mad.) Do I look tired? I am!

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I realize it’s been a almost a year since I updated… Coming here is safe, because I always suppose I don’t have any readers (1) and, since I tend to follow the mood and style I use in my different blogs (as I do with different paper journals), I don’t talk about feelings. I always want to cry into livejournal’s buxom, but facing what’s in my own heart is something I’ve been avoiding… put into words, I mean, because it materializes in the form of ghosts that follow me like little shadows, all the way from sleep and memory.

I realize I haven’t updated in almost a year and also, how full of it I was when I said I wouldn’t keep submitting my hair to violent lightening procedures anymore. I want to talk about that because, apparently, I need to talk about my hair or I’m not on this blog.

While I was an undergrad, I used to hang out a lot with a girl who is still a good friend, but I just don’t see or talk to often anymore. We had memorable conversations every day, about everything. I remember her telling me once, after getting a new piercing in her ear (one of many), that she liked taking care of her body piercings… I don’t know if she feels this way anymore, but she said “Since I’m not having any children, I need something to take care of, so I’ll take care of them.” It sounds a bit over the top, but sometimes I think of her during my hair coloring and conditioning rituals. Sometimes it’s not even about how I want it to look… not about the vain aspect, but for the simple purpose of controlling outcomes and then caring for something. Something that also happens to be a part of your body… it becomes a habit. Even when you have little free time left over and would probably do better just stopping altogether, at least in my experience, I look forward to “hair nights” and trying new dyes (which are sometimes disappointing!). There’s also my limited choices… I would only dye my hair black while I’m not trying to go for white or gray, or any shade of blue. Black is difficult to undo, and blue, well, I’m still trying to make an impression on my superiors (though, fortunately, I don’t think hair colors matter to them at all). But I’ve been twice traumatized over my choices… (twice having started work already WITH My Little Pony hair, then told to change it).

So besides working, not writing much and bleaching my hair, I’ve also been driving. I bought a car. Car Selfies 2014.

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A lot has happened in 11 months… WELIF was published and released in the wild last October. Friends and strangers have given me heart warming feedback about it. Which means a lot, because this is really OLD poetry I wrote while I could still be called a kid, and my drawings are in it (which look like a kid drew them, which is true, my inner child is the one drawing, always).

I take for granted that people who want to find out about my books do so at the book blog  or SLF’s (well, MY) facebook page. I’ve done quite a few book-related things, including a really neat-o, Freudy conference about SLF and dream translation that I PUBLISHED on the book blog linked above.

You can still get my books on Etsy and I could use your support with Etsy faves and Goodreads “to-reads” (of course reviews are better, but to-reads also make me happy!)

Look at little WELIF:
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My good friend Viruella recently posted an interview of sorts on her blog with flattering photos of my books and my answers to some really fun but difficult questions that I responded to on a work night. Without revising. That’s also an invitation, though, to follow her and read the thing (if you even read this far).

Academic terms are winding down and I have less courses than I did while I was a zombie. I have some secrets that I plan to reveal soon.  They’re actually exciting, but in hiatus until I put scattered self  back  together, so… stand by. Or follow me elsewhere. Or risk waiting forever (the average amount of time between posts here).

 

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Every time I come around here, geriatrician I feel more lost than I initially did…
Maybe the fact that this “blog” of sorts lacks a purpose… I really, REALLY don’t know where it’s going or what it’s supposed to be other than my non-poetic nonsense, non-anything-related yet everything-related place I occasionally write in to give my website something new to see.

I know two or three of you read me (thanks in part to bloglovin. Bless bloglovin.).
But it’s mostly an awkward soliloquy… have I said this before? I think I have.

I’ve been thinking of,
a) re-making the website into blog format (which I really DON’T want to do… there is an art in old fashioned HTML design, really, how many websites do you come across that retain that late 90’s aesthetic?)
b) deleting the blog and just leaving a-e as a portfolio of… my online history, I guess. (But I don’t want to that, either.)

Maybe if someday I have enough free time (which I doubt I ever will – every year projects and duties just pile up) I’ll html this blog.

On entirely different subjects, here is my face as of late.

Since hair is inevitably a subject (which I pretend I don’t care for) that comes up often, I’m going to talk about that.
Because nothing really extraordinary has been happening in my life and my creativity has been stifled by work, duties, and migraines (ALL THE MIGRAINES), I mostly dye my hair. A lot.

So I’ll pretend this might be useful to SOMEBODY out there.

I must say, my DIY toner has been everything I’ve needed to achieve something close to the true platinum white I wanted.
My hair is almost white (though just a few hours ago I dyed it in pastels – you’ll see for sure – but it’s almost white UNDER the current dye). It was a painstaking process that went on for months… I never noticed my hair grew so fast! Just as it was light enough, new roots started growing in that turned yellow with bleach… so it was never even (and still isn’t).

If you are a natural brunette who wants to go white, there are two products I will recommend:

  • Clairol Born Blonde Maxi – for subborn black roots. Easier to apply and a teensy bit less abrasive than powder bleach. However, leaves your dark hair a hideous limoncello yellow (see first blonde pics).
  • L’Oreal Excellence Creme Blonde Supreme in Lightest Ash Blonde – Apply (if you’re not scared) a few days after using Born Blonde. It lightens, though not drastically, but the shade is a really beautiful light ash blonde that is totally not disgusting.

Then, of course, use my toner recipe.
I learned that it’s almost the same thing as the toning conditioners which are a violet color to neutralize brassiness. I also used some toning shampoos (Clairol Shimmering Lights).

This will work much better if your hair is naturally blonde or a lighter shade… my hair is very dark brown, so I’m only very nearly there.

Now with no deceiving app filter:
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And that’s the end of it. I doubt I’ll be bleaching my roots again.

In case you were wondering about the progress with book-related things, well, there’s a whole other blog for that. Which you can follow on bloglovin as well.

I did a presentation back in April (that should have been a workshop – I might be doing one of those soon, August to be exact) at the UPR in Humacao. Details and visuals on teh blog and the facebook. This photo looks so legit:

signing

WELIF… whatever. I’m filling it with doodles and, given I’m not as talented as others in that department, I need to take my time and be in the right mindset, or else I just end up hating my drawings. So until I finish the handful of illustrations (so many more than I originally planned), there are no news. But I hope to make the most of this week, which is my “vacation” week.

I’ve made a secret instagram I haven’t told anyone about… because I have so many followers on my private one (most of them people I know), I feel self conscious about what I post. I really just want to upload skies and flowers and seashores and selfies. So, if you care to follow (because most people who know me in real life don’t come all the way here), it’s http://instagram.com/n3cr0phelia.

Also, something I’m looking forward to… I’m going to Triton Festival in September. My first goth thing of a sort ever, seeing bands I love, I don’t know if I’ll explode.

 

 

 

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Posting here always feels like a soliloquy… at least initially. One would think after so many years of writing entries about anything online I’d know how to introduce an update post, dermatologist but no. I think this has more to do with not knowing what my audience is, having this blog format NON-BLOG buried here under all these distractions and not really knowing who reads it, IF someone reads at all (besides the usual 2 or 3).

I try to imagine that strangers come here and read this… though the site’s tracker says most of you land in from facebook or tumblr. But in spite of the awkward beginnings, it’s a comfortable feeling.

I also try to keep it objective and impersonal… IF I ever succeed- I try.

I’m 28 now. It’s a tradition of mine to go over my progress since my last birthday, to feel both good and terrible about where my life is going. Hence, I feel both good and terrible. But birthdays are mostly about feeling good, so, like every year, I need to thank my friends and dearests for making birthdaymonth an awesome one. I have this fantasy of throwing a wild party for my birthday and it never happens. But that’s okay.

As much as I hate work, one of the perks of working somewhere nice is people you don’t expect to make a big deal out of your birthday. When I worked at the UPR a few years ago, my co-workers (who are still great friends) made me cry over chocolate birthday cake made from scratch. Last year I started working at Instituto de Banca and, having only worked there for a month, every group I taught sang me the happy birthday song. This year one of my groups made a little birthday party out of the class, and it was more fun than I expected.

 

Visual confirmation of the fun:

 

Earlier in October, SLF had a spot at Festival de la Palabra thanks to my friend Max Charriez. Visual confirmation of that:

And an extra. Walking around the MAPR with Yaya. Posing.

But back to SLF, the info is mostly updated on the facebook page, because fb makes everything easy, so if you haven’t, please:

https://www.facebook.com/StarsLikeFish

https://www.facebook.com/StarsLikeFish

https://www.facebook.com/StarsLikeFish

 And hey, Christmas is near… put it on your wishlist. Your amazon wishlist. Even if nobody buys it for you.

Anyway, SLF has its own website for which I’ve sketched out a much nicer layout, but I don’t have the time to update it. I barely have time  to update myself!

But do go “like” it on facebook? It makes me feel fuzzy. Seeing new likes and all. “Like” suggests that you actually LIKE it, maybe that’s why.

Where Everything Lost is Found is on hold until I’m not too exhausted from this tiredness I’ve been carrying around for a few months. I had to quit my second job because I was burning at both ends.

Returning to the subject of updating oneself, I got a haircut… a professional one (shock – I hadn’t let anyone cut my hair since I was 16 years old). A colleague (styling prof) helped me out. I wanted crazy, untamed mermaid hair, but it was getting out of hand… so now it’s a few inches shorter, but it bounces. Please don’t take into account that the “before” pic looks like crap (which I took before I even considered the haircut). I was at home and not wearing any makeup (or a shirt, actually), and I was at work in the “after” pic, so I obviously look more presentable (I hope).

Obviously, that last bit about my hair was forced because I’ve run out of safe topics.
October to November has been kind of whirlwind, in retrospect.
Stay tuned for dangerous topics.
No promises, though.
Also.
Plugging:

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 Today I was bicycling home from work and struck by yet another perfect October moon… I always have to mention it, neuropathist year after year, search when I feel our tropical Autumn setting in. Summers are such a drag.

On the subject of drags, I’m sick again.

I don’t know if it’s acceptance, but I’ve come to appreciate sick days, but for one reason only… I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but fevers always cause a sort of tilt of consciousness.

Between being highly uncomfortable, I had some mild hallucinations… auditory ones. I heard conversations, pure noise… I tried to think of a comforting melody to drown it all out, focusing on one sound, but the involuntary noise was overbearing. So I let it take over and felt my thoughts being drowned… like a flooding room. I wanted to get up and write them to let them out, because they felt so alien, as if in another language, and with this impulse, started seeing the words and felt my mind going black… saturated. Only rhyming saved me from losing it. I spent what felt like hours rhyming nonsense in my head. Oddly enough, the more I tried to calm the torrent, the more I was bombarded with this unbearable noise. Eventually, when I got up from bed, I just felt numb. And dumb. Not necessarily a bad feeling…

I also had a handful of comforting dreams… lately I’ve been feeling self conscious about even mentioning them because (and this is in no way a complaint), since SLF and people’s interest (thank you) it feels (only to me) like most of what I’ve done in life is dream… and collect memories to dream, and dream to write, because dreaming and writing feel so similar.

After a few days of fever-dreams and isolation, there’s a refreshing feeling of re-integration… of disconnection, seeing through a haze of slowness, trying to grasp reality through filters of imagination running in the foreground.

And now I realized I started writing in the wrong blog.

This is where I update, and I have no updates – lie. I do. Just not the right motivation.

I do have a photo of my sick face.

Krisia kidnapped me on Saturday night for a short while to take me to an art expo. I know I was probably the worst company that night, but it added to the fever-trip. The night seemed like a dream as well.

Krisia: “You’re sick, I know. You have about 40 minutes to get dressed, I’m coming to get you.”

Me: “Okay.”

I took this photo to see if I looked as messed up as I felt. Surprisingly, I only had eye-bags to show for it.

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SLF on the internets!

Though I still refuse to acknowledge Facebook as “internet.” It’s just one huge suburb of the internet where you can see into everybody’s windows whether you want to or not…

But please, erectile if you made it all the way here, viagra sale go like SLF on facebook. I’ll appreciate it bunches.

Also, I have my first presentation at the UPR, and I’m really excited about it.

Click it. Say you’re going. Even if you’re not.

Other news… I was in NY last week with Velvet and awesomeness went down. Luxurious hotel fun, Dead Can Dance, and good times with friends. Photos elsewhere, but just to keep this personalized (?), here’s a photo. More (maybe) later.

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It’s 1:11 am and I’m still up, search and so overwhelmed by everything I want to do on my last vacation night – so overwhelmed, side effects that I have achieved absolutely nothing.

I spent part of the night grading tests, generic because on Monday I go back to work again, and work was so easily forgotten this past week! Even though it wasn’t particularly vacation-y… I went to bed late, picked up abandoned books, spent time online doing not much (though I reconnected with a few abandoned friends) and spent real time with some of my best friends. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I miss my friends until I see them again… kind of like old habits. I didn’t realize just how unlike myself I’ve been feeling since I started this new, repetitive schedule of going to bed early – to wake up early – to come home and work.

I’ve heard it from several people, more than once, that you have to make time to do the things you love, and this is something I intend to do, because even though one never really loses oneself, you might forget yourself from time to time… the prospects of that terrify me, not to mention, sicken me in a subtle way that make me feel dulled, restrained and absolutely miserable (but only to a tolerable degree). Because I always, on the brink of the unmentionable, have little bouts of insanity, sometimes painful, that bring it all back.

And, on the subject of work (pouring my heart out here still seems like an intimate thing to do, since I know only a very few read me, though I’m about to promote a change in that), more than once I’ve heard myself labeled “teacher,” which bugs me. “Oh, no, no, no, I’m not a teacher!” Though I am, I am not. The term as defining seems so limiting and dull… no matter who says it (a student, for instance). But I mean it in the context in which I’ve heard it used (more than once), as if what my work at this moment defined me as a person.

I am so much more comfortable undefined, even when I can’t figure it out for myself: I don’t care to.

End of rant.

(It’s late. )

Now, switching to something completely different… are you on bloglovin?

Click it: Follow on Bloglovin

I remember Sophie telling me about this months ago, but I am slow to do anything suggested sometimes… Not sure to what extent I enjoy the privacy of anonymity I’ve enjoyed thus far, I guess we’ll see…

To break the monotony of letters, I made another gif of my face, this time with a wig (also making a statement about wigs, a mini-rant I included with a shot on facebook), enjoy (if you enjoy that type of thing).

And back on the subject of things I want to do, all at once, but ended up ranting here instead, I really love painting and got back into it because I was commissioned by my uncle to paint something for him (which I haven’t started because he owes me a reference pic). But I finished an owl painting I started about a year ago (and abandoned about a year ago), and everyone likes the outcome (including myself). Click for larger image. Or click here for devation.

I finally bought myself a camera… all I need now is to start taking pictures (something else I wanted to do tonight but didn’t bring myself to). Hopefully, I’ll be photobombing soon.

And something that deserves a fair mention (on the subject of picking up abandoned books that I didn’t continue reading tonight), my friend Miguel published a book which is, so far, possibly too good to ever become ridiculously popular. Click it and follow the White Rabbit.

Anyway, there will be a very interesting and interactive presentation on August the 23rd (announced with specifics here) and I was invited to be a reader! Along with Daniel Pommers (El Esqueleto Presenta). I think this is pretty rad and I’m excited.

Plugs related to this: Generación del Atardecer Presenta | Postdandyexpress | Cosmos Burlesco fb page | Gato Malo Editores | Le Papillon

 

Now it’s 2.

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I think this update will be more pleasant for us both if I sort it by topics. So here goes.

  • I made a gif of my face for giggles. Hi.

 

 

 My friend Krisia (which you should go LIKE on facebook) took some photos of me in April, prostate we had such an amazing day! (You can read all about it and see the photos over here, if you’d like, by the way). Anyway, she had an expo last month, and I was surprised to find that this piece was among them! She did other portraits of girls based on her own photos of them which were also there, and this awesome one of a kind art book:

Click the images to visit her website, I invite you to stalk her.

  • Now. About Stars Like Fish… a couple of things.

If you’re thinking about buying it, I recommend you buy it from me on Etsy. It will be signed, customized and I’ll include little extras. Maybe. But it’s cheaper than online bookstores and probably more fun.

On that subject, OH MY GOSH, my internet friend forever Teresa wrote such a heartwarming comment on my book… please, please go read it. I’m kind of afraid of what people have to say about it (though also insanely curious), but Tere knows me and what it’s all about, plus she’s an intelligent, creative (and pretty) girl of letters and whatnot, so you might understand why it means so much to me. I snatched an image of hers:

Also: the book has some errors. Some typos, some mix-ups. I almost DIED when I started discovering them, even after I had edited myself (literally) ad nauseam. I had nightmares for days that I re-read the book and it was all nonsense, that there were tons of typos on each page… blah. New files have been uploaded, so new online buyers will get the error-free version (or, the less-error version). However, those of you who have the typo’d version: feel free to proofread it with a brightly colored pen, I will not feel disrespected at all.

I suppose the problem was that: editing it myself. Next time, I will hire some friends to do it for me. Not sure how to repay them, though… if you’re up for it, let me know. (Half serious. Emphasizing serious.)

Also, I’ve been getting interesting and very positive feedback from friends. THANK YOU.

On some of them comments I’ve gotten, here’s the advice I give to everyone: READ THE STORIES IN ANY ORDER, like the middle, working your way randomly. It was not written in order, and it isn’t meant to have a chronological order. Rather, it’s circular, coiling into itself.

And, paraphrasing my BFF María, don’t read it from start to finish in one sitting.

But then again, if you have it in your hands, it’s your book, read it however you want.

I’m really motivated to finish the one in the works.

  • On the subject of reading, click this link! No. I tricked you, if you’re here, you probably don’t read more academical papers, but if you like poetry and understand Spanish (even though the comment is written in English, click it).

 

  • Site-related: I have a new affiliate! Krystal is totally cool and it makes me happy to see girls on the web who still keep domains and quality personal websites rather than just a pre-designed blog. I may be hunting for more… if you’d like to affiliate with me, please contact me via any method in this site! Shoutbox, comment, any of my social sites. Please!

 

  •  And finally, for those of you to whom this is relevant, keep an eye on my GothAuctions, CyberThrift or Auctions @ a-e  because I just did some closet cleaning and will probably be posting some Demonia shoes, Lip Service, Tripp NYC and other Hot Topic-key items because life and age are un-gothing my existence. Well, mostly my closet, never my spirit. I’m also selling off my Living Dead Dolls (not all of them)…

 

  • I suppose that’s pretty much it for now, internet.

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I may be doing this backwards, advice but I’m not one to follow rules (not all the time).

I am a creature of the web – though not entirely by choice – so I think it is fair the way this book came about, as an actual book.

As the subject suggests, Stars Like Fish is now available for purchase at amazon and CreateSpace.

There are plans for it, but for the time being, it is only available online (trade paper and Kindle versions).

If you’d like a copy – and I’m hoping so!- , use coupon code SM3AUVDT at checkout on CreateSpace and get 3$ off!

I keep getting the question but what is it about?

It’s an anthology of short stories and poems with photographs. It’s an extended dream, really. If I start to describe it, I’ll end up writing something like what you will find in the actual book or bore you with theory. So go look at the previews instead. 🙂

They appear when you click “LOOK INSIDE.” It’s not what the paper copy looks like, only the Kindle version.

If you buy it and read it, PLEASE leave reviews. And spread the word! If you’re on tumblr, I appreciate reblogs of this post! And facebook likes and shares, tweet it!

Today I’m going through old notebooks once again, and it’s such a unique feeling… I’m working on a second. Since I know the number of people who read up here are limited (hi, Sophie), I let you in on all the secrets.

It’s already in the works, and will be finished in a couple of months. It’s another collection, this one of more poetry than SLF, and some poetic prose and short stories. The working title is Where Everything Lost is Found. I have no previews of the cover art yet, because it has none! But in time.

But back to reading old work… it’s like having a conversation with a childhood friend about events you had forgotten all about. Like becoming someone you used to be.

I really need to get all this old work on paper so I can return to the future.

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Supersonic.

So I’m excited about a few things that I’ve bought for myself lately… REALLY excited, hemorrhoids excited enough to actually post about it (like that one time I bought a ton of handmade soaps from GothAuctions).

I’ve found that, and I hate to admit it, that with the less time I have on my hands, the more I want to reward myself by buying little things that make me happy. I am currently addicted to “Made in China” costume jewelry  for about a dollar apiece from ebay from stores like this one. Yes, receiving tiny little packets in the mail that contain something I ordered so long ago that I can’t quite remember what it is makes me momentarily happy. Even though I am well aware that I’ve fallen prey to consumerist culture and habits…

I rather be producing instead, but all I produce is funneled into my work, as is my creative energy. I never studied to be a teacher, and my experience is minimal compared to others, so I’m putting most of my efforts into learning and producing custom lessons every cycle that fits the character of my groups of students. I’m not sure whether my students enjoy it or not (which is almost irrelevant), I just know I can’t go about it any other way.

On the subject of production, Stars Like Fish was set back a little, due to the aforementioned situation, but it will be announced ALL OVER once it’s over and done with (and it is very nearly there). Thank you, THANK YOU, dear friends and followers, for acknowledging it as awesome. I pretend no one reads me here (because up to a certain point, I actually believed no one did), but I know better (at least now I do…).

Now, back to electronics and consumerism.

I bought a Kindle.

That contraption which I’ve been ignoring and rejecting (my ex boyfriend tried getting me one on several occasions, and probably hesitated because of my demeaning comments and indirect – other times very direct – e-reader bashing) for a few years. I think my snobbishness diminished when I realized, after the move, carrying them in small batches and rescuing them from my old house still, accidentally having been hurt by hard and heavy books, on the floor and falling from above,  after noticing that I’m very close to being accidentally killed by falling books, that I may need to move out someday and where, WHERE, WHERE would I put all these books, and how would I transport them? By the looks of them, I have enough to fill about a refrigerator box and a half, and that is a very modest estimate.

So in a momentary freak out, after painful consideration, I went for it. And now I’m one of those people with an e-reader, and feeling rather smug about having 60 (I’ve only had it for a few days) books IN MY HANDBAG.

I spent the first night wishlisting every amazon recommendation (wink, wink) I got, and requesting Kindle versions of those books not yet available. I loaded all those PDFs I couldn’t read before because the computer screen made my eyes tired, and I am excited and disappointed I don’t have enough time in a day to read. I’m slowly backing up all my classics with Project Gutenberg for free. And you may soon see all my paper classics being sold at my (notice this segue) auctions site, which I made quietly and quickly on a sleepless night (hey – gotta sell crap to make room for all those soaps and dollar China jewelry).

The other electronic thing I am very, very much enjoying as I type is my brand new Blu electronic cigarette. I don’t like admitting to it either, because it’s an unhealthy habit, but I enjoy smoke. Really, really. As much as I enjoy perfumes and soaps. I smoked cloves until I could no longer afford it, but I will never go back to – as vapers call them – analog cigarettes, possibly ever. I may only upgrade from this point on.

The way this works is you screw a battery into a cartridge which contains flavored “juice” that vaporizes when you inhale it. Inhaling activates a mechanism that warms the liquid. Hence, you inhale vapor, not actual smoke, and in spite of internet info being pretty ambiguous about it, it is obviously healthier. You even have the option of buying non-nicotine flavored cartridges if you just want to puff aromatic vapor looking cool as fuck, not actually smoke.

This is what I bought and what it looks like:

You charge the batteries with a USB drive. The “pack” is also chargeable – which, if you’re away from a power outlet, you can use to charge your cigarettes. The whole set is sleek and pretty, and includes a variety pack of flavor cartridges, all of which I’m enjoying so far. My favorite (for now) is this one:

It reminds me of Djarum Gold (formerly Djarum Vanilla). If Blu ever makes clove flavored cartridges, I will burst into squeals and giggles and buy me a year’s supply.

You can purchase an e-cig from a wide variety of brands, some of which even allow you to mix your own flavors. I didn’t do enough research when I bought the Blu cig, but I don’t regret it.

Advantages:

  • it’s pretty: black and shiny with a blue LED that matches my hair right now.
  • it’s not smoke: it doesn’t smell, doesn’t tar up your lungs or stain your teeth. You can puff indoors without bothering anyone or worrying about leaving any odors.
  • non-nicotine options: technically, you’re not smoking in any sense of the word. I like flavors and smells. I got my Vanilla cartridge with the lowest nicotine concentration, and will probably buy non-nicotine next time because I really enjoy the aroma and mostly, the act of puffing more than the actual nicotine effect (believe it or not).
  • long-lasting: each cartridge amounts to about 2 packs, if I remember correctly. I’ve been rotating flavors, and I’ve had it for about a week and none has run out yet. In other words, though it costs more in the beginning, it will probably end up costing less than buying “analog.”
  • you can pick it up and leave it whenever you feel like it.

Disadvantages:

  • short battery life: you have to recharge every hour or so of use.
  • with Blu specifically, you can only select from the flavors they offer, which are only seven. Using another cartridge from another brand or custom cartridges may damage the battery.
  • you don’t know when to stop…

And I just went on about this for about half a page. Why? To offer you this 10$ off referral coupon. CLICK IT!  I get 2$ off my next purchase if you buy a starter kit, and I really want some more of those Vanillas! You can check them out just by going to their website, though. I was just trying to trick you.

Also: I’m on lookbook now. I don’t think I’m cool enough to be there, I just wanted to show off my dorky professor outfits, but I’m too rushed in the morning or too tired in the afternoon to actually take photos, so it may be a futile attempt, but an attempt nonetheless.

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