Archive for the 'PERSONAL' Category

So for a few months I’ve been working on something very secret of a secretive nature.

For years and years I’ve had material collecting in corners of my class notebooks, healing scrap paper, viagra journals and blogs, case and, long after I had placed the idea of publishing in the very back of my mind (filed under “projects”), I decided to put it all together to be printed as a “book.” Because that’s what writers do… I’ve spent the last decade taking in literature and pushing out academic papers, building up an inferiority complex and at the same time, finding my own place in pages. Mostly virtual pages.

The decision to publish came about when, out of curiosity, I ordered Hélène Cixous’ Dream I Tell You, (I encourage you to click that link) a beautiful collection of dreams.  After spending a year immersed in theory (language, psychoanalysis and sctructuralism) while writing my thesis (on Lacan and Lewis Carroll’s Alice books), I was inspired. Why not?

Most of what I write comes from forces I have no control over, and most of those are the patchwork universe of my dreams. Friends and readers have considered my transcribed dreams to be short stories, and I suppose some people may be turned off by the thought of reading dreams… but I think dreams are the raw material from which a creative text can come to be, as words. The rawest poetry, or poetry in its rawest form, both interchangeable. I’m satisfied.

I’m publishing it myself, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It will be my first personal publication, and I rather have no opinions or critiques involved (please don’t misjudge). I had tried, very long ago, and the process was far from productive.

It will be available for purchase in possibly a few weeks, after final revisions. If you’re a follower and happen to buy it (or obtain a copy from me), you may recognize some characters or pieces that used to be on my livejournal.

But it’s not ready yet… in the meantime, a teaser of the cover:


Now, on an entirely different subject, Velvet got the mermaid I drew for her tattooed yesterday! I sat with her throughout the session, we looked at a Bettie Page book meanwhile. Fun, fun. It’s now on the back of her thigh, and she’ll be getting another when I draw her an angled octo-lady. The artist made the face slightly different, but overall, it looks rather awesome! And OMG, my drawing is on my best friend’s thigh. <3

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So in November I turned 27… should be a lucky year for me, medicine considering my little numerology superstition. Soon the world will have had 30 years of Narco and I will be on the very edge of growing up. Whatever that means. I had a lovely birthday week thanks to my lovies (my closest friends), who, up close and from a distance, sent me lovely words and gifts. My birthdays are always amazing because I receive unexpected gifts from unexpected people, and nothing makes me more appreciated. Nothing makes me feel more guilt-tripped, either, because I usually forget important people’s birthdays, even with all the virtual reminders.

My ever so gothic cake, one of my best friends Velvet‘s presents, delivered by herself and Viktor:

the flames were multicolored!


I spend a pleasant Halloween thanks to Velvet, who came to pick me up, and got to see some of the people I miss the most. No costume, as usual, just fake lashes and a corset:

halloween face

When I last updated, I was unemployed, which I enjoyed for a week. That same week I was lucky enough to receive a phonecall for another job. I’m now teaching at a local college. Awesomesauce.

On the other hand, I’ve procrastinated with applications, so the pursuit of my PhD has been delayed possibly by another year. Though the experience has been deeply enlightening.

Working takes time away from the things I really want and probably need to do. I’ve put off writing, “art” and even reading to prepare lesson plans and grade papers and things. Such is the life that I chose.

Inbetween, I’ve been drawing a series of mermaids for Velvet, quick color pencil sketches, some of which I’m proud. Do cover your eyes if you’re a minor, I try to keep my website nipple-free in case it comes across conservative eyes of judgment (you never know):

In other news, I’m clearing out my closet one more time. I’ve posted an insane amount of auctions at GothAuctions, which are also viewable on cyberthrift. You’d be helping me out if you adopted some of my clothes, spatially and financially. Though most auctions start at a dollar. But that would help me pay my hosting fee for a-e, which is one of those near-forgotten tiny corners of the internet that I refuse to give up.




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RadioClandestina‘s Zombie Ball was, allergy in spite of getting less guests that it should have, a total success and a lovely surprise. I am not experienced in any kind of makeup other than my two makeup modes (“day” and “party”), so I did not comply with the zombie dress code, but most people did,  impressively so. There was even cake, liquor, and body part candy. Lovely.

I debuted in laptop DJing and I do find it so much more practical than carrying a heavy CD book around! So easy and so much fun…

Souvenir pics:


Zombies, DJ Wanker and Sata and... perky n3cr0phelia. Stolen from Steven at facebook

Fearing for my brains with Viruella and Thing

In other, somewhat dreary news, I’m no longer teaching. LOL. Long story short, some strange things went down and I resigned, broken hearted because of all those kids I had to leave behind. Ah, well. Back to real life.

Some promo for the UPR’s Art department and my friend, DJ Viruella:

Click for FB event!

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Autumn’s started… not that there’s a drastic difference in climate here in the tropics, look but it’s my favorite time of year.

Some real life updates… as expected.

I’m a middle and high school teacher at the moment.

It’s absorbing most of my time, here because I’m designing the Conversational English course as I teach it… so far, this web it’s been pretty awesome. I get to be as creative as I like because I wasn’t given any rules or limits, and the students are alright. It’s exhausting work that takes up SO much mental energy (I plan lessons in my free time or giggle at a memory of something one of my students said), and it’s changing my behavior just a bit (for example, telling children I don’t know to “get down from there” or shushing when I hear a curse word), but at the same time, it’s fun. For the most part.

I was kindly asked by the principal to change my blue hair after all the kids had seen it so now I’m asked every day, since August, when I’ll be dying my hair blue again. It’s not just the children who miss it. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror sometimes… 10 years of blue, I think the universe accepts it. But at least I’m getting away with fuchsia.

Not that it matters much, but people tend to assume I am a teacher, that it’s what I studied for (literature what?) or that this is what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

Hell to the no.

In the meantime, some teacherly photos:

I was made to change my hair color to something more socially acceptable and less youth corrupting. And yes, that's Frida.

My desk. Not that it looks like this anymore... I had to buy a laptop, which is actually a practical investment I had survived without for this long.


But back to my real life.

I’ll be DJing for RadioClandestina’s Halloween party. Click for the FB event.

Stay tuned for an important announcement to be made… soonish!

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Well, pharm the party was a total success. Viruella not only rocked the party with her playlist at her first ever Dj gig, doctor but took what I think are the best photos of the night. You can see her photos here.

I really, neurologist really need to practice a new “reaction” pose when a cam is pointed at me. I’ve been doing the same thing since I was 3 years old.

Also related to my friend Viruella, she’s set up a tumblr where we feature rags from our personal closets.
Used and new, goth and not-so-goth. For girls and boys, trinkets and toys, rags, bags and shoes. At very low prices, of course. C’mon, CLICK IT! And give it a FB “like”!

I’m thinking about changing the playlist around a bit, because I’ve had the same playlist up since the last big update (which was a year and a half ago now…) and I always get questions about the songs and artists. So glad I could catch your interest. 😀
Here it is (finally):

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So much has happened since I last updated. 9 months, viagra approved seriously? Not like it’s truly relevant, migraine I don’t do much around here – and I know I don’t have many guests (though thank you, whoever you are who’s been stumbling upon me via stumbleupon!) so it doesn’t make that big of a difference.

Plus, those of you whom I want to know what I’m up to already know… and I usually don’t care to let everyone know what I’m up to, not really. Which can be a problem sometimes. People assume you’ve either vanished to another country and are having an awesome time or are doing nothing at all.

Things that have gone on after August: I moved in October. Everything’s changing… as it does. Though I treasure consistency, oddly enough. Not boring routine, but I grow attached to those consistent elements I do like. Like my old home, which I miss so much. The freedom of living out in the wilderness, opposed to the paranoid, repressed and exposed lifestyle of  “civilization.” My escapes aren’t as easy as stepping out the door or looking out the window, as they used to be.

And I’m not spending my days online being creative, either, because now I spend hours in front of a screen – working. Working a job I don’t care for, but that is enough for the moment [of indecision and transition – but isn’t this the moment I’m constantly tripping over every year or so?]… Changing the subject a bit (distraction?), a shot of me in “my” new town…

Now, back to the topic of relevance… Relevant news: I am now writing for my friends’ sci-fi and popculture webzine, Vórtice. Which is a pretty awesome concept.

More relevant news (are they?): I’ll be DJing again! Next to my friend Naelle and Barbie Blasphemy. Click the flyer for the FB event.

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I don’t know whether my last rant, nurse which was actually a plea, was successful, or if I just had a streak of luck.

But I have a new hostee! is now proudly hosted at a-e. She offers a variety of downloadable goodies for two of the things I love most: WinAmp and livejournal!  However, we’re working out some database issues, so you may not be able to access those parts just yet. In time!
Also, my author friend Vincent Lavious opened up a WordPress blog that he updates every once in a while with micro stories. Visit to see it.

In other news, my friend Gitte got a deviantART account. This makes me happy because I think the whole world should benefit from admiring this girl’s art, though I doubt she’ll bomb devART with her work.

She drew this for me, and she is so observant and intuitive it always surprises me. I do own an orange octopus, which some may or may not have seen once upon a time on devART, where I posted a photo with it many years ago, but there he us again! Mine is not real, though, he’s stuffed.

This is a beautiful portrait, and the way she sees me always flatters me.

Please pay her a visit, and add her to your devWatch if you like what you see!

Also, some of you might know I really enjoy IMVU. Not for the reasons you would assume if you’ve never used it for creating content, the concept of chatting is not as appealing to me as creating rooms and, most of all, clothing. One of those projects I had slow-roasting in the back burner was an IMVU related website that unified some of my favorite developers. I didn’t know how I would go about it… whether to make it a clique or a gallery… but playing around with software, I decided to design it using joomla (which I am still figuring out) and up to now I can say it’s a total success! I started it about 12 days ago, and I (we, actually) have a finished product. Click it!

It’s a webzine where users I personally invite post all kinds of content, whether having to do directly with IMVU or not, and where they can advertise their designs or services. The participation has been wonderful, and so many talented people are on board, it makes me giddy.

My personal life is a little chaotic as of late. But that’s another story for another day.


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