I think this update will be more pleasant for us both if I sort it by topics. So here goes.

  • I made a gif of my face for giggles. Hi.



 My friend Krisia (which you should go LIKE on facebook) took some photos of me in April, prostate we had such an amazing day! (You can read all about it and see the photos over here, if you’d like, by the way). Anyway, she had an expo last month, and I was surprised to find that this piece was among them! She did other portraits of girls based on her own photos of them which were also there, and this awesome one of a kind art book:

Click the images to visit her website, I invite you to stalk her.

  • Now. About Stars Like Fish… a couple of things.

If you’re thinking about buying it, I recommend you buy it from me on Etsy. It will be signed, customized and I’ll include little extras. Maybe. But it’s cheaper than online bookstores and probably more fun.

On that subject, OH MY GOSH, my internet friend forever Teresa wrote such a heartwarming comment on my book… please, please go read it. I’m kind of afraid of what people have to say about it (though also insanely curious), but Tere knows me and what it’s all about, plus she’s an intelligent, creative (and pretty) girl of letters and whatnot, so you might understand why it means so much to me. I snatched an image of hers:

Also: the book has some errors. Some typos, some mix-ups. I almost DIED when I started discovering them, even after I had edited myself (literally) ad nauseam. I had nightmares for days that I re-read the book and it was all nonsense, that there were tons of typos on each page… blah. New files have been uploaded, so new online buyers will get the error-free version (or, the less-error version). However, those of you who have the typo’d version: feel free to proofread it with a brightly colored pen, I will not feel disrespected at all.

I suppose the problem was that: editing it myself. Next time, I will hire some friends to do it for me. Not sure how to repay them, though… if you’re up for it, let me know. (Half serious. Emphasizing serious.)

Also, I’ve been getting interesting and very positive feedback from friends. THANK YOU.

On some of them comments I’ve gotten, here’s the advice I give to everyone: READ THE STORIES IN ANY ORDER, like the middle, working your way randomly. It was not written in order, and it isn’t meant to have a chronological order. Rather, it’s circular, coiling into itself.

And, paraphrasing my BFF María, don’t read it from start to finish in one sitting.

But then again, if you have it in your hands, it’s your book, read it however you want.

I’m really motivated to finish the one in the works.

  • On the subject of reading, click this link! No. I tricked you, if you’re here, you probably don’t read more academical papers, but if you like poetry and understand Spanish (even though the comment is written in English, click it).


  • Site-related: I have a new affiliate! Krystal is totally cool and it makes me happy to see girls on the web who still keep domains and quality personal websites rather than just a pre-designed blog. I may be hunting for more… if you’d like to affiliate with me, please contact me via any method in this site! Shoutbox, comment, any of my social sites. Please!


  •  And finally, for those of you to whom this is relevant, keep an eye on my GothAuctions, CyberThrift or Auctions @ a-e  because I just did some closet cleaning and will probably be posting some Demonia shoes, Lip Service, Tripp NYC and other Hot Topic-key items because life and age are un-gothing my existence. Well, mostly my closet, never my spirit. I’m also selling off my Living Dead Dolls (not all of them)…


  • I suppose that’s pretty much it for now, internet.

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I may be doing this backwards, advice but I’m not one to follow rules (not all the time).

I am a creature of the web – though not entirely by choice – so I think it is fair the way this book came about, as an actual book.

As the subject suggests, Stars Like Fish is now available for purchase at amazon and CreateSpace.

There are plans for it, but for the time being, it is only available online (trade paper and Kindle versions).

If you’d like a copy – and I’m hoping so!- , use coupon code SM3AUVDT at checkout on CreateSpace and get 3$ off!

I keep getting the question but what is it about?

It’s an anthology of short stories and poems with photographs. It’s an extended dream, really. If I start to describe it, I’ll end up writing something like what you will find in the actual book or bore you with theory. So go look at the previews instead. 🙂

They appear when you click “LOOK INSIDE.” It’s not what the paper copy looks like, only the Kindle version.

If you buy it and read it, PLEASE leave reviews. And spread the word! If you’re on tumblr, I appreciate reblogs of this post! And facebook likes and shares, tweet it!

Today I’m going through old notebooks once again, and it’s such a unique feeling… I’m working on a second. Since I know the number of people who read up here are limited (hi, Sophie), I let you in on all the secrets.

It’s already in the works, and will be finished in a couple of months. It’s another collection, this one of more poetry than SLF, and some poetic prose and short stories. The working title is Where Everything Lost is Found. I have no previews of the cover art yet, because it has none! But in time.

But back to reading old work… it’s like having a conversation with a childhood friend about events you had forgotten all about. Like becoming someone you used to be.

I really need to get all this old work on paper so I can return to the future.

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So I’m excited about a few things that I’ve bought for myself lately… REALLY excited, hemorrhoids excited enough to actually post about it (like that one time I bought a ton of handmade soaps from GothAuctions).

I’ve found that, and I hate to admit it, that with the less time I have on my hands, the more I want to reward myself by buying little things that make me happy. I am currently addicted to “Made in China” costume jewelry  for about a dollar apiece from ebay from stores like this one. Yes, receiving tiny little packets in the mail that contain something I ordered so long ago that I can’t quite remember what it is makes me momentarily happy. Even though I am well aware that I’ve fallen prey to consumerist culture and habits…

I rather be producing instead, but all I produce is funneled into my work, as is my creative energy. I never studied to be a teacher, and my experience is minimal compared to others, so I’m putting most of my efforts into learning and producing custom lessons every cycle that fits the character of my groups of students. I’m not sure whether my students enjoy it or not (which is almost irrelevant), I just know I can’t go about it any other way.

On the subject of production, Stars Like Fish was set back a little, due to the aforementioned situation, but it will be announced ALL OVER once it’s over and done with (and it is very nearly there). Thank you, THANK YOU, dear friends and followers, for acknowledging it as awesome. I pretend no one reads me here (because up to a certain point, I actually believed no one did), but I know better (at least now I do…).

Now, back to electronics and consumerism.

I bought a Kindle.

That contraption which I’ve been ignoring and rejecting (my ex boyfriend tried getting me one on several occasions, and probably hesitated because of my demeaning comments and indirect – other times very direct – e-reader bashing) for a few years. I think my snobbishness diminished when I realized, after the move, carrying them in small batches and rescuing them from my old house still, accidentally having been hurt by hard and heavy books, on the floor and falling from above,  after noticing that I’m very close to being accidentally killed by falling books, that I may need to move out someday and where, WHERE, WHERE would I put all these books, and how would I transport them? By the looks of them, I have enough to fill about a refrigerator box and a half, and that is a very modest estimate.

So in a momentary freak out, after painful consideration, I went for it. And now I’m one of those people with an e-reader, and feeling rather smug about having 60 (I’ve only had it for a few days) books IN MY HANDBAG.

I spent the first night wishlisting every amazon recommendation (wink, wink) I got, and requesting Kindle versions of those books not yet available. I loaded all those PDFs I couldn’t read before because the computer screen made my eyes tired, and I am excited and disappointed I don’t have enough time in a day to read. I’m slowly backing up all my classics with Project Gutenberg for free. And you may soon see all my paper classics being sold at my (notice this segue) auctions site, which I made quietly and quickly on a sleepless night (hey – gotta sell crap to make room for all those soaps and dollar China jewelry).

The other electronic thing I am very, very much enjoying as I type is my brand new Blu electronic cigarette. I don’t like admitting to it either, because it’s an unhealthy habit, but I enjoy smoke. Really, really. As much as I enjoy perfumes and soaps. I smoked cloves until I could no longer afford it, but I will never go back to – as vapers call them – analog cigarettes, possibly ever. I may only upgrade from this point on.

The way this works is you screw a battery into a cartridge which contains flavored “juice” that vaporizes when you inhale it. Inhaling activates a mechanism that warms the liquid. Hence, you inhale vapor, not actual smoke, and in spite of internet info being pretty ambiguous about it, it is obviously healthier. You even have the option of buying non-nicotine flavored cartridges if you just want to puff aromatic vapor looking cool as fuck, not actually smoke.

This is what I bought and what it looks like:

You charge the batteries with a USB drive. The “pack” is also chargeable – which, if you’re away from a power outlet, you can use to charge your cigarettes. The whole set is sleek and pretty, and includes a variety pack of flavor cartridges, all of which I’m enjoying so far. My favorite (for now) is this one:

It reminds me of Djarum Gold (formerly Djarum Vanilla). If Blu ever makes clove flavored cartridges, I will burst into squeals and giggles and buy me a year’s supply.

You can purchase an e-cig from a wide variety of brands, some of which even allow you to mix your own flavors. I didn’t do enough research when I bought the Blu cig, but I don’t regret it.


  • it’s pretty: black and shiny with a blue LED that matches my hair right now.
  • it’s not smoke: it doesn’t smell, doesn’t tar up your lungs or stain your teeth. You can puff indoors without bothering anyone or worrying about leaving any odors.
  • non-nicotine options: technically, you’re not smoking in any sense of the word. I like flavors and smells. I got my Vanilla cartridge with the lowest nicotine concentration, and will probably buy non-nicotine next time because I really enjoy the aroma and mostly, the act of puffing more than the actual nicotine effect (believe it or not).
  • long-lasting: each cartridge amounts to about 2 packs, if I remember correctly. I’ve been rotating flavors, and I’ve had it for about a week and none has run out yet. In other words, though it costs more in the beginning, it will probably end up costing less than buying “analog.”
  • you can pick it up and leave it whenever you feel like it.


  • short battery life: you have to recharge every hour or so of use.
  • with Blu specifically, you can only select from the flavors they offer, which are only seven. Using another cartridge from another brand or custom cartridges may damage the battery.
  • you don’t know when to stop…

And I just went on about this for about half a page. Why? To offer you this 10$ off referral coupon. CLICK IT!  I get 2$ off my next purchase if you buy a starter kit, and I really want some more of those Vanillas! You can check them out just by going to their website, though. I was just trying to trick you.

Also: I’m on lookbook now. I don’t think I’m cool enough to be there, I just wanted to show off my dorky professor outfits, but I’m too rushed in the morning or too tired in the afternoon to actually take photos, so it may be a futile attempt, but an attempt nonetheless.

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So for a few months I’ve been working on something very secret of a secretive nature.

For years and years I’ve had material collecting in corners of my class notebooks, healing scrap paper, viagra journals and blogs, case and, long after I had placed the idea of publishing in the very back of my mind (filed under “projects”), I decided to put it all together to be printed as a “book.” Because that’s what writers do… I’ve spent the last decade taking in literature and pushing out academic papers, building up an inferiority complex and at the same time, finding my own place in pages. Mostly virtual pages.

The decision to publish came about when, out of curiosity, I ordered Hélène Cixous’ Dream I Tell You, (I encourage you to click that link) a beautiful collection of dreams.  After spending a year immersed in theory (language, psychoanalysis and sctructuralism) while writing my thesis (on Lacan and Lewis Carroll’s Alice books), I was inspired. Why not?

Most of what I write comes from forces I have no control over, and most of those are the patchwork universe of my dreams. Friends and readers have considered my transcribed dreams to be short stories, and I suppose some people may be turned off by the thought of reading dreams… but I think dreams are the raw material from which a creative text can come to be, as words. The rawest poetry, or poetry in its rawest form, both interchangeable. I’m satisfied.

I’m publishing it myself, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It will be my first personal publication, and I rather have no opinions or critiques involved (please don’t misjudge). I had tried, very long ago, and the process was far from productive.

It will be available for purchase in possibly a few weeks, after final revisions. If you’re a follower and happen to buy it (or obtain a copy from me), you may recognize some characters or pieces that used to be on my livejournal.

But it’s not ready yet… in the meantime, a teaser of the cover:


Now, on an entirely different subject, Velvet got the mermaid I drew for her tattooed yesterday! I sat with her throughout the session, we looked at a Bettie Page book meanwhile. Fun, fun. It’s now on the back of her thigh, and she’ll be getting another when I draw her an angled octo-lady. The artist made the face slightly different, but overall, it looks rather awesome! And OMG, my drawing is on my best friend’s thigh. <3

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So in November I turned 27… should be a lucky year for me, medicine considering my little numerology superstition. Soon the world will have had 30 years of Narco and I will be on the very edge of growing up. Whatever that means. I had a lovely birthday week thanks to my lovies (my closest friends), who, up close and from a distance, sent me lovely words and gifts. My birthdays are always amazing because I receive unexpected gifts from unexpected people, and nothing makes me more appreciated. Nothing makes me feel more guilt-tripped, either, because I usually forget important people’s birthdays, even with all the virtual reminders.

My ever so gothic cake, one of my best friends Velvet‘s presents, delivered by herself and Viktor:

the flames were multicolored!


I spend a pleasant Halloween thanks to Velvet, who came to pick me up, and got to see some of the people I miss the most. No costume, as usual, just fake lashes and a corset:

halloween face

When I last updated, I was unemployed, which I enjoyed for a week. That same week I was lucky enough to receive a phonecall for another job. I’m now teaching at a local college. Awesomesauce.

On the other hand, I’ve procrastinated with applications, so the pursuit of my PhD has been delayed possibly by another year. Though the experience has been deeply enlightening.

Working takes time away from the things I really want and probably need to do. I’ve put off writing, “art” and even reading to prepare lesson plans and grade papers and things. Such is the life that I chose.

Inbetween, I’ve been drawing a series of mermaids for Velvet, quick color pencil sketches, some of which I’m proud. Do cover your eyes if you’re a minor, I try to keep my website nipple-free in case it comes across conservative eyes of judgment (you never know):

In other news, I’m clearing out my closet one more time. I’ve posted an insane amount of auctions at GothAuctions, which are also viewable on cyberthrift. You’d be helping me out if you adopted some of my clothes, spatially and financially. Though most auctions start at a dollar. But that would help me pay my hosting fee for a-e, which is one of those near-forgotten tiny corners of the internet that I refuse to give up.




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RadioClandestina‘s Zombie Ball was, allergy in spite of getting less guests that it should have, a total success and a lovely surprise. I am not experienced in any kind of makeup other than my two makeup modes (“day” and “party”), so I did not comply with the zombie dress code, but most people did,  impressively so. There was even cake, liquor, and body part candy. Lovely.

I debuted in laptop DJing and I do find it so much more practical than carrying a heavy CD book around! So easy and so much fun…

Souvenir pics:


Zombies, DJ Wanker and Sata and... perky n3cr0phelia. Stolen from Steven at facebook

Fearing for my brains with Viruella and Thing

In other, somewhat dreary news, I’m no longer teaching. LOL. Long story short, some strange things went down and I resigned, broken hearted because of all those kids I had to leave behind. Ah, well. Back to real life.

Some promo for the UPR’s Art department and my friend, DJ Viruella:

Click for FB event!

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Autumn’s started… not that there’s a drastic difference in climate here in the tropics, look but it’s my favorite time of year.

Some real life updates… as expected.

I’m a middle and high school teacher at the moment.

It’s absorbing most of my time, here because I’m designing the Conversational English course as I teach it… so far, this web it’s been pretty awesome. I get to be as creative as I like because I wasn’t given any rules or limits, and the students are alright. It’s exhausting work that takes up SO much mental energy (I plan lessons in my free time or giggle at a memory of something one of my students said), and it’s changing my behavior just a bit (for example, telling children I don’t know to “get down from there” or shushing when I hear a curse word), but at the same time, it’s fun. For the most part.

I was kindly asked by the principal to change my blue hair after all the kids had seen it so now I’m asked every day, since August, when I’ll be dying my hair blue again. It’s not just the children who miss it. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror sometimes… 10 years of blue, I think the universe accepts it. But at least I’m getting away with fuchsia.

Not that it matters much, but people tend to assume I am a teacher, that it’s what I studied for (literature what?) or that this is what I plan to do for the rest of my life.

Hell to the no.

In the meantime, some teacherly photos:

I was made to change my hair color to something more socially acceptable and less youth corrupting. And yes, that's Frida.

My desk. Not that it looks like this anymore... I had to buy a laptop, which is actually a practical investment I had survived without for this long.


But back to my real life.

I’ll be DJing for RadioClandestina’s Halloween party. Click for the FB event.

Stay tuned for an important announcement to be made… soonish!

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Well, pharm the party was a total success. Viruella not only rocked the party with her playlist at her first ever Dj gig, doctor but took what I think are the best photos of the night. You can see her photos here.

I really, neurologist really need to practice a new “reaction” pose when a cam is pointed at me. I’ve been doing the same thing since I was 3 years old.

Also related to my friend Viruella, she’s set up a tumblr where we feature rags from our personal closets.
Used and new, goth and not-so-goth. For girls and boys, trinkets and toys, rags, bags and shoes. At very low prices, of course. C’mon, CLICK IT! And give it a FB “like”!

I’m thinking about changing the playlist around a bit, because I’ve had the same playlist up since the last big update (which was a year and a half ago now…) and I always get questions about the songs and artists. So glad I could catch your interest. 😀
Here it is (finally):

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So much has happened since I last updated. 9 months, viagra approved seriously? Not like it’s truly relevant, migraine I don’t do much around here – and I know I don’t have many guests (though thank you, whoever you are who’s been stumbling upon me via stumbleupon!) so it doesn’t make that big of a difference.

Plus, those of you whom I want to know what I’m up to already know… and I usually don’t care to let everyone know what I’m up to, not really. Which can be a problem sometimes. People assume you’ve either vanished to another country and are having an awesome time or are doing nothing at all.

Things that have gone on after August: I moved in October. Everything’s changing… as it does. Though I treasure consistency, oddly enough. Not boring routine, but I grow attached to those consistent elements I do like. Like my old home, which I miss so much. The freedom of living out in the wilderness, opposed to the paranoid, repressed and exposed lifestyle of  “civilization.” My escapes aren’t as easy as stepping out the door or looking out the window, as they used to be.

And I’m not spending my days online being creative, either, because now I spend hours in front of a screen – working. Working a job I don’t care for, but that is enough for the moment [of indecision and transition – but isn’t this the moment I’m constantly tripping over every year or so?]… Changing the subject a bit (distraction?), a shot of me in “my” new town…

Now, back to the topic of relevance… Relevant news: I am now writing for my friends’ sci-fi and popculture webzine, Vórtice. Which is a pretty awesome concept.

More relevant news (are they?): I’ll be DJing again! Next to my friend Naelle and Barbie Blasphemy. Click the flyer for the FB event.

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I don’t know whether my last rant, nurse which was actually a plea, was successful, or if I just had a streak of luck.

But I have a new hostee!  http://malionette.org is now proudly hosted at a-e. She offers a variety of downloadable goodies for two of the things I love most: WinAmp and livejournal!  However, we’re working out some database issues, so you may not be able to access those parts just yet. In time!
Also, my author friend Vincent Lavious opened up a WordPress blog that he updates every once in a while with micro stories. Visit http://blackleathergod.ame-electrique.org to see it.

In other news, my friend Gitte got a deviantART account. This makes me happy because I think the whole world should benefit from admiring this girl’s art, though I doubt she’ll bomb devART with her work.

She drew this for me, and she is so observant and intuitive it always surprises me. I do own an orange octopus, which some may or may not have seen once upon a time on devART, where I posted a photo with it many years ago, but there he us again! Mine is not real, though, he’s stuffed.

This is a beautiful portrait, and the way she sees me always flatters me.

Please pay her a visit, and add her to your devWatch if you like what you see!

Also, some of you might know I really enjoy IMVU. Not for the reasons you would assume if you’ve never used it for creating content, the concept of chatting is not as appealing to me as creating rooms and, most of all, clothing. One of those projects I had slow-roasting in the back burner was an IMVU related website that unified some of my favorite developers. I didn’t know how I would go about it… whether to make it a clique or a gallery… but playing around with software, I decided to design it using joomla (which I am still figuring out) and up to now I can say it’s a total success! I started it about 12 days ago, and I (we, actually) have a finished product. Click it!

It’s a webzine where users I personally invite post all kinds of content, whether having to do directly with IMVU or not, and where they can advertise their designs or services. The participation has been wonderful, and so many talented people are on board, it makes me giddy.

My personal life is a little chaotic as of late. But that’s another story for another day.


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