It’s 1:11 am and I’m still up, search and so overwhelmed by everything I want to do on my last vacation night – so overwhelmed, side effects that I have achieved absolutely nothing.

I spent part of the night grading tests, generic because on Monday I go back to work again, and work was so easily forgotten this past week! Even though it wasn’t particularly vacation-y… I went to bed late, picked up abandoned books, spent time online doing not much (though I reconnected with a few abandoned friends) and spent real time with some of my best friends. Sometimes I don’t realize how much I miss my friends until I see them again… kind of like old habits. I didn’t realize just how unlike myself I’ve been feeling since I started this new, repetitive schedule of going to bed early – to wake up early – to come home and work.

I’ve heard it from several people, more than once, that you have to make time to do the things you love, and this is something I intend to do, because even though one never really loses oneself, you might forget yourself from time to time… the prospects of that terrify me, not to mention, sicken me in a subtle way that make me feel dulled, restrained and absolutely miserable (but only to a tolerable degree). Because I always, on the brink of the unmentionable, have little bouts of insanity, sometimes painful, that bring it all back.

And, on the subject of work (pouring my heart out here still seems like an intimate thing to do, since I know only a very few read me, though I’m about to promote a change in that), more than once I’ve heard myself labeled “teacher,” which bugs me. “Oh, no, no, no, I’m not a teacher!” Though I am, I am not. The term as defining seems so limiting and dull… no matter who says it (a student, for instance). But I mean it in the context in which I’ve heard it used (more than once), as if what my work at this moment defined me as a person.

I am so much more comfortable undefined, even when I can’t figure it out for myself: I don’t care to.

End of rant.

(It’s late. )

Now, switching to something completely different… are you on bloglovin?

Click it: Follow on Bloglovin

I remember Sophie telling me about this months ago, but I am slow to do anything suggested sometimes… Not sure to what extent I enjoy the privacy of anonymity I’ve enjoyed thus far, I guess we’ll see…

To break the monotony of letters, I made another gif of my face, this time with a wig (also making a statement about wigs, a mini-rant I included with a shot on facebook), enjoy (if you enjoy that type of thing).

And back on the subject of things I want to do, all at once, but ended up ranting here instead, I really love painting and got back into it because I was commissioned by my uncle to paint something for him (which I haven’t started because he owes me a reference pic). But I finished an owl painting I started about a year ago (and abandoned about a year ago), and everyone likes the outcome (including myself). Click for larger image. Or click here for devation.

I finally bought myself a camera… all I need now is to start taking pictures (something else I wanted to do tonight but didn’t bring myself to). Hopefully, I’ll be photobombing soon.

And something that deserves a fair mention (on the subject of picking up abandoned books that I didn’t continue reading tonight), my friend Miguel published a book which is, so far, possibly too good to ever become ridiculously popular. Click it and follow the White Rabbit.

Anyway, there will be a very interesting and interactive presentation on August the 23rd (announced with specifics here) and I was invited to be a reader! Along with Daniel Pommers (El Esqueleto Presenta). I think this is pretty rad and I’m excited.

Plugs related to this: Generación del Atardecer Presenta | Postdandyexpress | Cosmos Burlesco fb page | Gato Malo Editores | Le Papillon

 

Now it’s 2.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, July 29th, 2012 at 6:09 am and is filed under ART, LITERATURE, PERSONAL. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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